These days, there would be so many things that could compete for our time and attention. How can anyone be bored when you have wifi? We can be piled up even when were just sitting in one place. Not to mention the workload that most people has. We have to work to earn and live right? We have to enjoy ourselves and spend time with our friends and families. And many other things. Getting bored is just not possible.
But yesterday, there were a few nudges during my busy day when I felt it. I felt bored. And as I searched my heart, I did not have a reason to be bored or sad. I was busy. Preparing for the wedding and spending time with friends or family. Transferring and uploading so many photos, catching up with my bible reading. I can’t even find time to do facials. I was doing fun things. Many girls would want to be in my shoes. Getting married. Doing food tasting. Plan vacations. Having a family. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited. I have always dreamt of getting married and having my own family someday. I would do anything to have one before. But while I am enjoying preparing for these dreams, I felt sadness. I miss my real home. Even with the comforts and good things of this world. I know that this is not my final destination. My spirit longs for heaven. I feel close to God but not close enough. I was homesick.
For our citizenship is in heaven, from which also we eagerly wait for a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
I then rushed to my place so excited to pray and sing and get high with Jesus. And just saturate myself with my father in heaven. I’m glad I feel this way. I’m glad that even when there are things that can make me happy, I still crave for my ultimate joy. To talk about Him. And spend time with Him and just… sing to Him. I want a day off of everyone and everything. A facetime or a voice call with my Dad in heaven with no distractions. But there are so many things to do.😔And somehow, I’m scared that if I would have a family, I would miss my super alone time with Him. 😭 I miss those instances when I have so much time with Jesus. When I was single. The transition is really not easy for me. I could not express how much I would like to tell single women in waiting for their God’s best to just enjoy where they are, and savor every stage. To really spend time with God. Those were the best days of my entire existence as of today. And I want more. 😭
I pray for single women out there to learn contentment and ultimate joy wherever they are. To find complete satisfaction in Jesus and overwhelming love from Him.
Truth is, wherever we may be, whatever we may have… There would always be that something, deep in our hearts that is missing. And that space is for Jesus. For our home beside Him someday. If we continue to look in other places, we will spend our whole lives jumping from one source to another but never really finding what we are looking for. And some, won’t even know what they are actually looking for. 😔
We are made for so much more than our desires and ideas of what can make a person happy. So much more than this fleeting life. So much more than what we can ever desire and imagine…
That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”